A few days ago, Will turned toward me and said, "I feel like we've been making a lot of really good life choices recently." He was smiling, with a look of genuine contentment on his face. Initially I wasn't sure what he meant. When I think of life choices, I tend to think of Life Choices - those big choices that you agonize over, wondering what the downstream effects of your choice will be. Marriage. Accepting a job. Quitting a job. School. Where to live. Hair stylist.
Yet, as I thought about it, I realized we have made quite a few life choices recently. We decided to sell Will's old, extremely well-used car for a newer car that won't require him to devote multiple Saturday afternoons to repairs. We decided to move from our somewhat fancy apartment complex to an older duplex that's not only a better fit for our budget, but also for our personalities. I decided, with Will's constant encouragement, to apply to a PhD program. We decided to replace my 8-year-old laptop with a newer version that can run multiple programs simultaneously. Individually, they didn't feel like huge, life-altering choices but each choice has helped bring a measure of ease or calm into our life. Collectively, I imagine the downstream effects will be subtle but positive.
As I write this, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my mom back in my mid-twenties when I was single. That day, I was feeling completely despondent about dating and love. I asked my mom, "What does it even mean to love someone or to be in love? After all of this, I don't even know if I know what I'm looking for." My mom was quiet for a minute and then said, "I don't really know. I know that I love your dad and that we are in love, but I'm not sure what that means exactly. When we were dating, I knew I respected him and that I thought he was funny and all of that. But when I think back on it, what I really liked was solving problems with him. I felt like we worked well together when we had to solve problems. I think that helped me feel in love with him and feel okay about the idea of marrying him. Which is good, because it turns out marriage is basically about solving problems together." Her comment helped calm me in that moment. It also helped me gain a little perspective in the dating world by giving me a more grounding way to think about relationships. I can honestly say Will is an excellent problem-solving partner for me. He helps me make good life choices, both for me and for us. Our anniversary was a month ago, so this is belated but whatever: Happy Anniversary, my love. You are my favorite.
A few photos of the life choices:
| Will's car was good to us. It even pulled our moving trailer (full of boxes, a couch, a bed, bookshelves, chairs and way too many kitchen appliances) across half of the United States with hardly any complaint. |
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| Nonetheless, it was time to let go of that car and add this one to our insurance bill. We bought it from a nice elderly man who, as part of the purchasing package, also gave us some fossils and rocks he collected in west Texas. I loved that. |
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| We'll miss the cozy layout of our current apartment |
| and the big windows with the golden afternoon light. |
We are excited for our next place though, even its aqua and pink bathroom.
Photos to come soon.
